As you might have heard, the world is going through it. Coronavirus.
We are going through this unknown sickness that is spreading like crazy. Almost everyone is self-isolating in their homes and those who aren't are risking their lives at work in order to keep the world from total madness. It's a strange time to be alive.
I'm a 20-year-old college student at Texas State University. I'm young, happy, and mostly carefree. This pandemic has changed that. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I've definitely had a lot of time to reflect.
At the beginning of this pandemic, I was unsure of how to feel as my school shut down, the cities closed, and my community was at risk. Adapting to these circumstances was an unusual process but I got the hang of it. Something that was most difficult to get the hang of was learning at home. Online classes aren't something I like, nor am I good at. I've realized that as much as I say that I don't, I really enjoy being around people. I like being around people that are different than me. I like sarcastic comments and awkward conversations. I like my classmates telling me how bad my coffee addiction is because I always have a cup in my hand. I like listening to the innocent and optimistic comments from my peers about other's works. These little things had always given me something to think about, and I didn't even think about how much until it was decided that we would be meeting via Zoom for the rest of the semester. I know that I'm in college and I'm supposed to be an "adult," but Analissa always shared her jalapeno chips with me! Who is going to feed me jalapeno chips now?
After spending now 7 weeks at home, I have come to realize many things about myself and my working and creating process. I get distracted. I find that it's really hard to focus on tasks at hand when I'm not in an environment where everyone else is focused too. I have also realized many things about the way I see the people around me. After sitting in several Zoom calls throughout the weeks, I have started realizing more about my classmates and their personal lives. We talk about why internet connections don't work, we show each other new toys that have nothing to do with school, we meet each other's families and animals, we see into each other's living spaces and homes. It feels strange that I am seeing more of them now than ever, learning more about who they are personally and where they come from, and their interests outside of our mutually shared major and degree plan. I feel much gratitude for this. I appreciate my classmates in new ways and am more interested in who they are now that the privilege of seeing them on a daily basis has been taken away.
I've been quite hard on myself about my work ethic since beginning online classes, but I've also realized that people are quite hard on themselves most of the time. Is that how it's supposed to be? Maybe, but I have been getting the urge to be softer to myself through these hard times, and I find myself hoping that others are being softer on themselves too. It's quite scary but humbling to have our world turned upside down the way that it has been. I didn't realize how much I need my classmates to motivate me, challenge me, and inspire me until it was up to me to do all of those things for myself (which I should probably be trying to do more anyway). I think that if we finished the semester at school and continued seeing each other daily that I might be getting more work done and be more successful at it as well, but I don't think I would've realized the importance of it all if everything remained the same. I'm not saying that I am glad that this happened, but I am glad that I am taking a valuable and profound lesson from it.
I'm valuing community more now than ever, and I'm trying to see more beauty in things that I usually don't feel much about like going to the grocery store, walking your dog, and going to class with your peers. I'm learning that being appreciative of your community, classmates, family, and yourself is one of the most important things that we can do during our life.
Here is a photo from my Digital Learning class on Zoom. My professor broke us into groups and I got placed in a group with my usual in-class table mates which we all thought to be pretty awesome.
We all felt relief when we were grouped together because we felt comfortable. There is bliss in normalcy.
Though I have had some struggles with creating, I have completed a few works of art. Here are some works that I've made during this time that I am mostly proud of.
This is the 2nd animation that I've ever made using PhotoShop. Inspired by the character, Prismo's, death in the popular cartoon, Adventure Time.
This is a work about social protest and feminism. I looked at several images from the 2nd wave feminist movement for this painting.
This is a self-portrait. I was feeling a little down and unsure when I painted this, but my mom loves it. It's now hanging in her office. It made me feel good that she embraced this painting with much love.
This is another self-portrait. I was feeling beautiful, grounded, and love on this day.
Thanks for reading!